Dashed hope (Phoenix)

[Seniade Hawthorne]

Seniade trailed up the stairs late that night, crumpled letter in hand, quill stuck in her bouncy ponytail, parchment in her pocket. He had written her. What was worse, he had dared to beg and plead with her to come home for the Christmas holidays. Seniade slipped into the Owlery, quietly shutting the door behind her and crossing over to a darkened corner to slump down in, clearing the floor area from droppings and carcasses first. She huddled up with her back in the wall, both knees pulled up to her chest as she opened the letter and read it again.

Seniade,

My only child left to me, I beg of you to come see your poor aging father during the holiday season. I miss your companionship and warmth terribly these days, my darling daughter. Would you consider visiting your old man during Christmas break, Sen?

All my love,

Benjamin Hawthorne

Seniade's heart pounded in fear as bile rose in her throat; past memories washing through her mind fresh once more, the feeling of digust, filth, and misuse preying on her anew. Quickly, she drew the parchement from her pocket and plucked the quill from her hair; it was one of her new Self-Inking ones, and whispered "Lumos" to her wand to see. Her shoulders shook as she scribbled hateful, furious words on the parchement, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. Her eyes were dry, however. Sen would not cry, she could not cry.

Eventually, she snapped the quill and ripped the parchment and that's when she stopped, her resolve and new found will for life crushed , as a tawny owl floated down to her shoulder, hooting at her. "Hadrian.. I don't know what I'm going to do.." She whispered to the feathered friend that had come to Hogwarts with her.

[Phoenix Aster]

The coughing heralded Phoenix's approach. Not that the coughing was loud, of course. He'd long grown accustomed to the burning in his throat, so that even when something aggravated it, like say fumes from the feeble potion attempts from second-years in one of the other dungeouns, he could keep it relatively in check. But in the quiet of the night, it was easy to hear the telltale coughs, even over the hooting of the owls.

He carried a small, wrapped package, which looked ready to be tied onto one of the owls. And as he entered the owlery, he noted the other student's presence there, though it was too dark to immediately see the state that she was in.

"Good evening, Seniade," he said, his quiet voice sounding a bit more ragged than usual as he tied the package onto a lean, black raven that was perched disdainfully a distance away from the owls. "You know where to go, Nightshade," he whispered, sending the bird on its way.

[Seniade Hawthorne]

Seniade heard Phoenix's coughing on his way up, but she didn't care. She balled up in her dark little corner with Hadrian, crumpled parchment at her feet, her face buried in Hadrian's feathers so her response, "Evening." was muffled. Of course she had to go. He had requested her to come home, and by law, though she was of age, she was still under his rule because she was still enrollled in school.

The very thought of going back to his home made her sick and she had buried her face in the sweet smelling feathers on Hadrian's back to keep from vomitting or passing out; she wasn't sure of which she was gonna do yet.

[Phoenix Aster]

Phoenix did a bit of a double take at her reply. He hadn't seen Seniade like this before, and frankly it caught him off guard.

He let the raven loose, then turned to the girl who was curled up in the darkness, unable to help but notice the marked difference between the Seniade before him and her usual vibrant personality.

"Seniade? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice catching a bit through his suppressed coughs, but the concern in it still unmistakeable.

[Seniade Hawthorne]

Seniade froze when her mind registered that someone else was actually in the room and what it would mean. But he already knew she was falling apart, so what was she supposed to do, lie? She didn't even know a good one to explain her behavior. Her heart thudded heavily in her chest as she thought rapidly.

Seniade raised her head from the owl's feathers slowly, after what seemed like an eternity to her when in acutality it was only a few moments in time. "I -... Um... I received a letter today..." She decided on the truth, finally. What else could she do? Had she been alone for a few hours to deal with it, she would have been able to fabricate a good lie or stretch of the truth. But she had nothing but torn paper, a snapped quill, and a broken will.

"My.... f-father is requesting that I come home for the holidays..." The venom in her voice on the word "father" nearly made herself cringe at the sound, petting the owl softly, the movement somehow soothing.

[Phoenix Aster]

The venom in her voice unnerved him slightly, but not so much that it would make him back down. That, at the very least, was something that he tried not to do anymore. "Forgive my ignorance of the situation," he said slowly, "But... I assume from your tone that that would be something classified under 'very bad ideas'?"

[Seniade Hawthorne]

In the pit of her stomach, Sen felt a hard knot of dread settle there, like a cold, heavy rock, as Phoenix spoke, his very quiet voice a wise thing to have at this time; anything loud or quick would push her over the edge. Very slowly she nodded, as her body quaked when her mind visualized just how bad of an idea it was. Seniade buried her face in Hadrian's feather's again, her breathing irregular as was her racing heartbeat.

Briefly, ever so slightly, she turned her head to speak. "He's not.... a stable man since we lost Mom and my sister..." Her own mouth betrayed her. Seniade buried her face in Hadrian's feathers once again, her body now so still you'd think she was a statue if it were not for the slow rise and fall of her chest.

[Phoenix Aster]

Phoenix crouched down behind her as she curled up again. Very tentatively, he put a hand on her shoulder. "If it seems like that bad an idea, then don't go," he said. Yes, he realized that it likely was much more complicated than that. But if there was one thing life with his grandmother taught him, it was that people could only make you do what you let them make you do.

[Seniade Hawthorne]

Seniade flinched when Phoenix touched her shoulder, not even seeing him really as she crossed her arms over herself, her foot brushing the crumpled and ripped parchment papers, and busted quill, ink staining the stone floor. She pressed herself as far into the corner as she could go, almost hoping that her body would just bleed into the wall and become nonexistant.

Hadrian hooted as she moved, making his displeasure of being dislodged from her arm known, hopping around on the ground, first glaring at Phoenix, then hopping closer to the curled Sen in the corner, hooting at her.

[Phoenix Aster]

Phoenix was quiet for a moment as he crouched behind her. "I'm sure that I'm not the only one who would want to help you," he said quietly. "I won't blame you for not wanting to talk to me... but talk to someone." He hesitated, then added, "You're only as alone as you make yourself."

[Seniade Hawthorne]

"What can I do?" Her voice was shaking horribly, the words breathed into the dark. "If I don't go, he'll try to remove me from school again, and force me to stay - at home" Sen's words came out in a rush, except for the "at home" part. She had almost blurted, "with him" but caught herself; still, she clung to the illusion that physical damage had not been done. Tried to anyway.

"The teachers can't know, Phoenix.... it'll be horrible... please don't tell them... please..." Seniade's voice fervertly pleaded with Phoenix.

[Phoenix Aster]

Phoenix hesitated. In truth, he saw a big hole in her worries. It was true that, as a student, he still had rule over her. However, if she was pulled out of school, being of age, that rule ended.

He didn't think, however, that pointing that out would help just now.

"I won't tell them," he said, "If you calm down and believe me that it won't be horrible. At least, not as horrible as you think."

[Seniade Hawthorne]

Seniade nodded quickly and tried to calm her breathing down quickly; too quickly, at one point she started gasping for air as she had stopped her breathing. Her mind raced at a million miles a minute, outcomes revealing themselves to her in her mind's eye, each as unsavory and undesirable as the last.

Sen shook her head violently at herself, to both get a grip to breathe and to get rid of the mental pictures that nearly made her sick. "I can't go..... "

[Phoenix Aster]

Phoenix sighed and reached into the pocket of his robes. He pulled out a bottle of yellow liquid and flipped the lid off of it, letting a fine yellow mist out. He kept it with him lately in case something set off his coughing fits, but it should serve just as well in this circumstance, too.

He held it under her nose, letting the vapor drift up into it. One little gasp would get enough into her lungs to let the magic calm her.

[Seniade Hawthorne]

Sen jerked a little when she inhaled the mist, but relaxed slightly when she realized it was helping her to calm down and breathe properly. Slowly, very slowly, her arms rested in her lap and her legs unbent themselves from her chest. For a few minutes Sen was quiet and stared at the wall in mute silence.

"Thank you, Phoenix." She said dully after about 15 minutes of staring at the wall.